shebreathes's Diaryland Diary

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hunger and wanting

i whispered into the silence to devastate an almost too perfect void. i waited feverently for the punchline but it did not come. i took a shower in ice cold water to prove myself perfect for you - but i was left shivering and unsatisfied, human and still flawed.

i wrote and rewrote the story. i conjured up explanations that were almost as believable as yours. i convinced myself that all of this would mean something some day. that there was some important piece that i was still missing.

i attempted suicide in the dark but i missed the target. i got drunk on your compliments but i still didn't feel pretty. i waded through an ocean of hunger and wanting only to find that there was nothing on the other side.

3:21 am - July 13, 2004

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