shebreathes's Diaryland Diary

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so far steady

i live on an island, which is a mattress, in a sea of things i cannot change.

i go to the mall alone and consider buying too expensive shoes. i eat bagels in the food court and imagine up a boy who could hurt me worse than the boy whose job that is now.

i go to shoppers drug mart and buy three kinds of lip gloss even though i shouldn't waste my money on this kind of garbage. i decide that this lip gloss is a step in the rigt direction. i need some pants, some shoes, some clothes that aren't three years old. i need a personality with a kick to it.

no one has ever loved me the way that i love him.

i consider buying razors to cut with. i don't. but i've been considering it a lot lately. but i don't. i don't know why i don't. maybe i'm afraid to cross that line again.

i live over here on this island, which is a mattress, in a sea of things i cannot change. i hope for better things. i wish i had some vodka and a pretty girl to kiss. i wish i had something here tonight.

i want more than this

8:40 pm - August 29, 2004

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