shebreathes's Diaryland Diary

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isn't it funny

it's funny the way it hurts me even though it shouldn't. as if somehow, through all the anger and the lies, my heart is still tied to his.

the day disappeared and left me with an endless night. i've always loved the night. the streetslights that cast our shadows long and distorted and leave everything glowing orange. the stars which are sharp and move in the sky so quickly that we cannot get a hold of them. but i miss the daylight now. the way the flowers look when they're not sleeping. the way the pavement reflects the sun in blinding brilliance.

it's funny how i gave myself permission to open my skin with a razor blade and then somehow decided against it. it's funny how afraid i am of the things i want the most. it's funny that i've grown up so much and that this past year was both a false start and an opening to something so much better.

7:08 pm - July 11, 2004

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